Encouragement

As you may have noticed I have been feeling down lately.  I have been questioning if we were making the right decision, the right country, the right child.  It has just been overwhelming and I have felt so alone.  We have been really praying hard about this.  Making sure it is the Lord leading us and not just our hearts.  This weekend was confirmation that this is the path the Lord wants us to walk.

This weekend has been so uplifting and encouraging for us.  We had a yard/bake sale to try to raise the funds to complete our homestudy.  I had friends show up for support.  I was able to meet new friends and was blessed by their generosity.  I was able to minister others and educate them about Reece's Rainbow.

While we did not raise everything we need to complete our homestudy we are so much close.  And we are not alone.  The Lord is filling my life with the people he wants to walk this journey with us.

After the yard sale we were debating where to get something to eat.  We had decided on one restaurant and then at the last minute decided on another.  The service nor food was very good at the restaurant.  So we were regretting our decision.  As we were walking out a gentleman commented on our adoption t-shirts.  Josh stopped to talk with him and told him of our plans and Reece's Rainbow.  Turns out they were also an adoptive family.  And had adopted from R.  They were able to share their experiences with us and offer encouragement.

Thank you Lord.  Help me to trust in your timing and not my own.

Anchor down and hold on

Someone recently told me adoption is not for the faint of heart.  How right they are.  I feel like I am being blown ever which way the wind blows.  I am normally a level headed person.  At least I like to think so.  This process has me on a roller coaster and we are just getting started.  At times I am ready to jump off.  My brain starts saying if it is this hard now what's in going to be like later on?  Are you sure this is your calling?  You know you really don't need another child.  You were completely happy before.

But then my heart thinks of my son all alone in an orphange facing being transferred to an insitution and how could I not.  It is so much easier to ignore the plight of orphans when you haven't seen their faces. But I have seen, I do know.  I can't turn away.  So no matter how rough this ride may become I am going to anchor down and hold on.

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and not lean on thine own understanding

Psalm 91:2 “I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.”

Hard day. . .

Today I feel all alone and defeated.  It has been one thing after another and we haven't even completed a homestudy.  Lord are you sure this is what we are suppose to be doing?  Today I am questioning that calling.  I feel like a fish floundering on dry land.  We have no family support system.  We have no encouragement, no help.  It is us and the Lord.  He is faithful and he has blessed the fundraisers we have held.  But everytime we have enough money for the next step something happens.

The truck messed up, my car brakes went out, the printer broke, and now I need to have a tooth pulled.  On and on and on it goes.  There are more things that I can't even recall.  I had being such a downer, I hate feeling this way.  Today I am asking for prayers, for words of encouragement, for support.

Spreading Awareness

Here are some links to other blogs having give aways and such.  Please take a moment to go and look.  Even the smallest donations add up. <3

Lost No More

According to His Glory

Still trucking

Things are going sooo slowly.  It is beyond frustrating.  Everytime I think we are going to move forward we get pushed two steps backwards. 

Our first online auction went very well.  We raised enough to cover our placing agency application fee and our donation to RR.  I was praying we would make enough this weekend at the craft show to cover our homestudy fees.  It didn't happen.  I went in the hole.  :(  Not a fun experience.

I am clinging to the Lord this week.  Trusting that he called us to do this so he will provide our needs.  It is so easy for me to focus on the bad and negative.  So easy for me to want to say I give up this is too hard.  I REFUSE to give up, I REFUSE to give in!!  This is my child, he is worth fighting for.

I ask for your prayers and support.  I ask for your help to keep me focused on the positives.

We are starting our Puzzle Fundraiser.  We have purchased a beautiful puzzle of all things Russian.  We are selling each piece for $10.  I will write your name on the back of the piece you purchase.  Once the puzzle is complete we are going to have it professionaly framed so both sides are visible.  This way our child will be able to see everyone who helped to bring him home.  If you are interested in purchasing a piece please let me know.

Trust and Obey

The last couple of weeks have been really rough for me.  I have been in a whirlwind trying to come up with ways to fund this adoption.  Trying to make things to sale.  Plus trying to keep up the kids school work and activities.  I was overwhelmed and stressed to the max.  Everytime I turned around something was going wrong and messing up.  I was becoming so frustrated and discouraged.

And then the Lord made me stop and realize there is NOTHING I can do to make this adoption happen.  NOTHING.  No amount of begging, pleading, sewing, selling.  NOTHING.  This is all in his hands. 

On one hand I have known this from the beginning.  We don't have the resources to make this happen.  I knew that from the start.  I trusted in the Lord to bring our child home.  I just wasn't trusting in his timing.  I thought I would just help him along the way.  I am a planner, I thought if I could just make a plan as to how to raise the funds it would work.  NOT.  Instead all I accomplished was making myself crazy.

So I am going to sit back and fully trust in the Lord.  I am going to wait for his timing though it may not be my own.

Ps 27:14 Wait for the LORD; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.

Ps 33:20 Our soul waits for the LORD; He is our help and our shield.

Isa 40:31 Yet those who wait for the LORD will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary.

Under Attack

Man, oh man has it been rough.  Since we have made the decision to adopt we have been unders some heavy spiritual attack.  It seems like every time we turn around something is going wrong or breaking.  While it is very frustrating and at time heartbreaking I refuse to give in.  I would really like to punch Satan in the face.  That would make me feel so much better. ;)  Gahhh!!

I know this is the path we were called to walk.  I know that the child the Lord has placed on our hearts is our child.  I am just so ready to be able to say this is my child.  To make that official commitment.  We are hosting an auction to try to raise the amount we need to make that happen.  Praying that we reach our goal.

Moving along

Things are moving slowly.  We are getting everything checked off of our final application check list.  Once we send that in we have to come up with $1600 to complete the homestudy.  We are also ready to send in our application to the placing agency next week.  After that step we can send in our donation to Reece's Rainbow.  We are beyond excited to make an official commitement to our child.  <3

Heartbroken

Today as I read another's blog But By Grace my heart was broken.  An overhwhelming sense of grief and urgency.  I know that the Lord has a plan and his own timing.  But my heart races and I become frantic.  Trying to think of ways to bring in the money to move forward, to move faster.  These children need us NOW!  The thought of my lil man aging out and moving to the insitution has me in tears.

Please Lord wrap your arms around these children.  Please Lord break people's hearts for what breaks yours.  Open their eyes!  Make it impossible for anyone to turn their backs on such suffering.  Please Lord bless us and provide so that me may bring our child home.  Bless and provide for others working to bring their children home.  Please Lord place a protective shield around Everett.

This is my cry.

Researching, preparing, and fundraising.

Man, oh man this is so much more than I was anticipating.  I knew that it was going to be alot of work.  I just had no idea just how much.  Part of me just wants to bury my head in the sand and give up.  But when I think of my boy waiting I know that I must press on.  When I think of the other children waiting and suffering I know that I must continue to advocate and pray for these children.  They needs homes, they need families, they need love.

I HATE asking for help.  I am naturally a giver.  I have no problem with helping others.  It kills me to ask others for help.  To bring my child home I will do it.  I will humble myself and beg if need be.  The cost of this adoption is staggering.  I in no way mind paying it, but we just don't have that kind of money laying around.  So I am sewing, crafting and pleading.  I don't mind working hard to earn the money we need.  I trust in the Lord to provide the money we need.

I talked to a placing agency today that I believe we are going to work with.  I felt like it was a fit for us.  I believe we need to be completely comfortable with our homestudy agency and our placing agency.  These are the people who are going to help us bring our child home.  I don't want to work with anyone that I don't feel I could call with any question. 

So that being said we need $4500 upfront for our placing agency fees.  $1600 to finish our homestudy and $275 for a donation to Reece's Rainbow.  This is what we need to make an official commitment to our child.  This will allow us to share his picture with everyone.  This will allow everyone to fall in love with him as we have.

So now I pray, pray, and pray some more.  Praying for provision and guidance.

The beginning . . .

Adoption is something I always knew that I wanted to do.  As a young teen I always said that I was going to adopt.  At that time my vision was of a daughter from China.  Then life happened. I met my husband and got married.  The Lord blessed us with 4 beautiful children.  I then became a surrogate for a wonderful couple.  Still adoption was on my mind and heart. My husband wasn't completely on board at this time. My husband and I attended a conference for orphans, Know More Orphans.   The conference opened his eyes to the need and the Lord changed his heart.  By this time I was interested in adopting from Africa.  He specifically felt we were called to adopt form Uganda.  We were finally in agreement.  We decided to wait until we were in a better place finanically and with more room in our home. As we wanted to adopt two children at once.  I immediatley began researching all I could about Uganda and international adoption.  I joined several groups on Facebook.  Day in and day out I would see chilren's faces that needed a family.  I would pray for them but I never really "saw" them.  Because in my mind they weren't my children.  The Lord had led us on our path, we knew where we were going.  We had a plan.  And God laughed.  I was scrolling through one of the adoption pages when a little boy caught my eye and captured my heart.  I was immediately in love.  And then I had a panic attack.  I was confused how can this be my child Lord if you have called both my husband and I to adopt from Uganda.  Never the less I tried to show my husband the picture when he came home form work.  He was not interested at all.  This child has special needs.  This child is facing an institution is a matter of months.  This isn't what we had agreed on.  We weren't going to adopt right now, it was years down the road.  And again God laughed.  I went to bed upset and angry.  How could God place this random child on my heart.  We had a plan, I couldn't even get my husband to look at his picture.  The next day after work Josh came home and told me we had to talk.  We sat down and he told me that we would do whatever it took to bring this little boy home.  He said that the Lord had kept him up all night.  That he was in tears for this little boy.  This from the man who wouldn't even look at a picture.  So we began looking into how we could bring our son home.  It is a long, draining process.  We aren't in a place financially that we can just make this happen.  Our home is not complete.  We can't do any of it.  But God can.  We are stepping out in faith.  We are being obedient.