Under Attack

Man, oh man has it been rough.  Since we have made the decision to adopt we have been unders some heavy spiritual attack.  It seems like every time we turn around something is going wrong or breaking.  While it is very frustrating and at time heartbreaking I refuse to give in.  I would really like to punch Satan in the face.  That would make me feel so much better. ;)  Gahhh!!

I know this is the path we were called to walk.  I know that the child the Lord has placed on our hearts is our child.  I am just so ready to be able to say this is my child.  To make that official commitment.  We are hosting an auction to try to raise the amount we need to make that happen.  Praying that we reach our goal.

Moving along

Things are moving slowly.  We are getting everything checked off of our final application check list.  Once we send that in we have to come up with $1600 to complete the homestudy.  We are also ready to send in our application to the placing agency next week.  After that step we can send in our donation to Reece's Rainbow.  We are beyond excited to make an official commitement to our child.  <3

Heartbroken

Today as I read another's blog But By Grace my heart was broken.  An overhwhelming sense of grief and urgency.  I know that the Lord has a plan and his own timing.  But my heart races and I become frantic.  Trying to think of ways to bring in the money to move forward, to move faster.  These children need us NOW!  The thought of my lil man aging out and moving to the insitution has me in tears.

Please Lord wrap your arms around these children.  Please Lord break people's hearts for what breaks yours.  Open their eyes!  Make it impossible for anyone to turn their backs on such suffering.  Please Lord bless us and provide so that me may bring our child home.  Bless and provide for others working to bring their children home.  Please Lord place a protective shield around Everett.

This is my cry.

Researching, preparing, and fundraising.

Man, oh man this is so much more than I was anticipating.  I knew that it was going to be alot of work.  I just had no idea just how much.  Part of me just wants to bury my head in the sand and give up.  But when I think of my boy waiting I know that I must press on.  When I think of the other children waiting and suffering I know that I must continue to advocate and pray for these children.  They needs homes, they need families, they need love.

I HATE asking for help.  I am naturally a giver.  I have no problem with helping others.  It kills me to ask others for help.  To bring my child home I will do it.  I will humble myself and beg if need be.  The cost of this adoption is staggering.  I in no way mind paying it, but we just don't have that kind of money laying around.  So I am sewing, crafting and pleading.  I don't mind working hard to earn the money we need.  I trust in the Lord to provide the money we need.

I talked to a placing agency today that I believe we are going to work with.  I felt like it was a fit for us.  I believe we need to be completely comfortable with our homestudy agency and our placing agency.  These are the people who are going to help us bring our child home.  I don't want to work with anyone that I don't feel I could call with any question. 

So that being said we need $4500 upfront for our placing agency fees.  $1600 to finish our homestudy and $275 for a donation to Reece's Rainbow.  This is what we need to make an official commitment to our child.  This will allow us to share his picture with everyone.  This will allow everyone to fall in love with him as we have.

So now I pray, pray, and pray some more.  Praying for provision and guidance.

The beginning . . .

Adoption is something I always knew that I wanted to do.  As a young teen I always said that I was going to adopt.  At that time my vision was of a daughter from China.  Then life happened. I met my husband and got married.  The Lord blessed us with 4 beautiful children.  I then became a surrogate for a wonderful couple.  Still adoption was on my mind and heart. My husband wasn't completely on board at this time. My husband and I attended a conference for orphans, Know More Orphans.   The conference opened his eyes to the need and the Lord changed his heart.  By this time I was interested in adopting from Africa.  He specifically felt we were called to adopt form Uganda.  We were finally in agreement.  We decided to wait until we were in a better place finanically and with more room in our home. As we wanted to adopt two children at once.  I immediatley began researching all I could about Uganda and international adoption.  I joined several groups on Facebook.  Day in and day out I would see chilren's faces that needed a family.  I would pray for them but I never really "saw" them.  Because in my mind they weren't my children.  The Lord had led us on our path, we knew where we were going.  We had a plan.  And God laughed.  I was scrolling through one of the adoption pages when a little boy caught my eye and captured my heart.  I was immediately in love.  And then I had a panic attack.  I was confused how can this be my child Lord if you have called both my husband and I to adopt from Uganda.  Never the less I tried to show my husband the picture when he came home form work.  He was not interested at all.  This child has special needs.  This child is facing an institution is a matter of months.  This isn't what we had agreed on.  We weren't going to adopt right now, it was years down the road.  And again God laughed.  I went to bed upset and angry.  How could God place this random child on my heart.  We had a plan, I couldn't even get my husband to look at his picture.  The next day after work Josh came home and told me we had to talk.  We sat down and he told me that we would do whatever it took to bring this little boy home.  He said that the Lord had kept him up all night.  That he was in tears for this little boy.  This from the man who wouldn't even look at a picture.  So we began looking into how we could bring our son home.  It is a long, draining process.  We aren't in a place financially that we can just make this happen.  Our home is not complete.  We can't do any of it.  But God can.  We are stepping out in faith.  We are being obedient.